The blog post I never wanted to write

Tomorrow it will be 2 months since my last run. It will be at least another month before I can run again.

I never knew just how much running meant to me. How much it meant to my body and my head.

What happened you ask?

I wish I knew for certain. I think the bunion on my left foot started bothering me months ago and I ignored it. Then there were other signs … I had to stop in the middle of a run, because I thought there was a pebble in my shoe … another time my forefoot started hurting when I was cruising downhill. At some point it hurt too much and I decided to give in, stop running and have my GP take a look. He is a runner himself, he will understand and I was due to get another bloodtest anyhow.

Off I went … x-rays were taken … then a trip to a sports clinic for an MRI … I received the news that there was no fracture (yay, but I knew that I’m quite slow and careful). I got exercises to strengthen my foot. I did those exercises, but it just got worst … at some point I could not even continue my walks in the morning that kept me on the right side of depression. The bike I had purchased to ride at home with a turbo trainer hurt as well … a bruise appeared on the top of my foot.

So … I got another opinion … this time a physio … who sent me to a podiatrist … and a new diagnosis was found. Morton’s Neuroma! Now that’s at least a fancy name right? I bet if I see someone else, I get even more exotic shit. (Yes I can fucking curse, this is my blog and I cunt run).

Of course the podiatrist says the solution is a fancy pair of orthotics … so far let me tell you, running is way cheaper than not running! All those expert opinions are quite expensive, way more expensive than running shoes.

Anyhow … long story short … I have to realise that if I wake up in the middle of the night, because my fucking foot hurts, I have to keep healing …

I am trying to use this time to get an insanely strong core – I have been doing 50 minutes pilates nearly every day and can now tell you that I do have muscles beneath all those fat layers! To keep my head in check I also started meditating.

Now .. I can’t lie to you … not being able to run is hard on me … probably one of the hardest things I ever had to “not” do. I miss the stars and the moon … the solitude … the freedom … I can feel my world is shrinking …Β  I miss running until dawn and watching the sunrise. I’m scared it will never be the same …

Yes … I know others are off far worst … I could have xyz … but fuck off this is my blog and if I can’t complain here without someone shuffling shit into my face like “you’ll run soon again” … I have nowhere else to go.

I really did not want to write this post. I’m not myself, if I do not get my running fix in. I know, as you are a runner you understand and get this. Thank you for that!

This is my last post for a while. I will be hiding over at my food blog and try to get to grips with this situation I am in. (If you don’t know the url, drop me an email. If you are on IG, you know where to find my alter ego).

See you hopefully on the other site!

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30 Replies to “The blog post I never wanted to write”

  1. WE HAVE A LOVELY SWEAR WORD BACK HOME… IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE FUCKSHITPOESBITCHARSE AND IF YOU SAY IT QUICK ENOUGH IT TAKES YOUR MIND OFF OF THINGS WHEN YOU CUNT RUN πŸ˜‰ LOVE YA X

    Liked by 1 person

      1. PS… if it is ANY consolation… fingers crossed, remember when…. I was off for a YEAR with that Achilles strain that I had… (i thought i was going to DIE – lots of tears shed)
        I was able to pick up Nordic Walking, trying to focus on another aspect of my fitness (like TrekkieLianne suggested) and I think I came back stronger.
        Stronger because my in my head i realised that it was just temporary and that you can move forward in other ways by building strength in other ways… and stronger because I was working all the other parts of my body that help to support my run when I got back into it…
        There are silver linings Slowpop, I know they are difficult to see now… but you are doing a FABULOUS job so far… keep at it! You are an inspiration and an absolute STAR!!!

        mwah lekker naweek!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh girl, I’m so sorry to hear about that! I’ve been through it, more than once, and I know there are not enough curse words in the world to really enumerate the million ways it sucks to be unable to run. I hope you are back to your usual self really soon. I’ve been reading this book called The Brave Athlete which talks about injury and they suggest doing exactly what you’re doing: spend the time honing some other aspect of your physical self rather than sulk. You’re doing the smart thing, and I hope you will be rewarded by greater strength and stamina on the other side.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That truly sucks. After my sprained and fractured ankle in June last year, and follow up problem in November, I was forbidden to run. I was horrid. Sadly it’s become a lost habit and I’m finding it so difficult to get going again 😭. I kept up other activities too, so I can applaud you for your Pilates. Hopefully when you are allowed to run again you will come back stronger. In the meantime I added alcohol to the bad language which seemed to help.
    (I’m entered into Ealing half in September so I better get going soon 😱).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It can be so hard to get back again … especially if it was such a long break. I like your plan to sign up for a race though πŸ˜ƒ with the warmer weather it should motivate you to get going again!

      Like

  4. Ah Jaysus, that’s a pox. I did ‘like’ the post, but I don’t really, if you know what I mean. Though I did enjoy the swearing. I didn’t know SRG did such good swearing, so that was bit of a fucking relief. Hope it gets sorted. I had to Google it, needless to say. We will make you run again. We have the technology. Until then, rock the absolute fucking hell out of the Pilates. I did classes for a while, and they were great.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the fucking compliment πŸ˜„. I’m actually surprised how fast Pilates works … all my other issues, like lower back troubles, have now disappeared. I do not like doing it, but I like what it does for me. And it is good for the head to have something to improve upon and do daily.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey SRG, sorry to hear about your foot. I’d noticed that you hadn’t been blogging muchπŸ˜” I hope that all the core stuff works out and helps you to be a better runner when you get back.
    When I was off work with stress the psychologist told me that eventually I would be stronger and grateful for what I’d learned from the experience. I thought he was an idiot! But he was right – only now though, 2 years later!
    Wishing you the very best recovery. 😘😘😘

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Sleep disruption is the worst! It’s harder to cope with pain. I think the meditation/ mindfulness helps a bit. Sending you vibes for recovery!

        Liked by 1 person

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